::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am an O' Level student. I like a girl who studies at the same coaching centre as me, but in a different batch. She is a unique person. But I'm very shy about approaching her. Her mother is always with her and I hardly get a chance to talk to her. How can I communicate with her?
Shy

Dear Shy,
If you are interested in starting a friendship then you should talk to her with some excuse. If she shows any interest then you may continue. It is very natural to be shy at your age especially when it concerns girls. I am sure as you grow older you will get over this temporary phase. Since her mother has allowed her to study in a co-education system I am sure she will not mind you talking to her.

Dear Mita,
My family consists of my parents and elder brother. I deeply long for a sister but have none. I have a few cousins but they are all rather "over-smart" and garrulous. Only one is the way I picture my sister and I have her on a pedestal. But she hardly notices this. On the other hand, we have a bunch of guardians who misunderstand our relationship (even though my cousin is four years my senior). What should I do now?
A Wretched Brother

Dear Brother,
It is rare for a person to long for a sister. Most young men prefer a brother to a sister and therefore you must be very unique. You have to demonstrate to your guardians that you admire your cousin and the relationship is purely one of a brother and sister. Meanwhile, you also need to outgrow the need for a sister and look for other relationships. You should meet people outside your family and develop friendships with both men and women closer to your age. As you grow older, you will find other relationships much more interesting and you longing for a sister will slowly fade away.

Dear Mita,
I have two friends. The three of us spent many good times together. But recently, things have changed. One of my friends does not spend as much time with us anymore and seems bored when he does. What's puzzling is that he has quite a jolly time with his other friends. He just seems to want to get away from us. What should we do?
R

Dear R,
These are some hard realities that you have to face as you grow older. The most important one is to realise and accept that most friendships do not last forever. People change as do priorities, preferences and interests. Your friend may have outgrown this relationship and is interested in a different set of friends. This is not necessarily bad or unusual. There is no need to see this negatively. It is nobody's fault, it is just that priorities for your friend has changed. The sooner you accept this the easier it will be for you to make new friends.