days ago one of my friend invited me in a party to celebrate her successful
cyber affair. She and her friend were also getting married within
a few months. At that party we discovered that one of my other friend
was also in the midway of a cyber affair. Though he has met the girl
few months ago, he is already feeling that she is the one of his dreams.
They were cyber friends for quite a long time, may be two and half
years. Recently, they met and they are now dating with full energy.
Though they haven't yet expressed their love to each other, but sometimes
silence also talks. He is sure that she loves him and he is waiting
for the Valentines Day to express his love.
are eight in our group and two of them have already got their life
partner through net! I had heard about this kind of successful affairs
before but couldn't understand how can it be possible. It sounds so
ridiculous. But seeing these happy couples suddenly one question arises
in my mind- is this a new trend or a blessing of modern science, why
is it gaining popularity among the new generations?
I guess in our
isolated modern life we guys have become so busy that we can't communicate
with the society and our relatives properly. So to fulfill the social
needs we are searching for a new way to create relations. I believe
friendship is one of the most popular and valuable relations in this
world. The Internet has given us the opportunity to create this relation
without binding us within the geographical limit and language. Nowadays
most of us have two kinds of friends.
One category is
the people whom we meet in our school, college, varsity or any other
working place and make our friends. Another category is the people
with whom we meet in the cyber world. The process of making any kind
of friends is the same- proper understanding, feeling for each other,
love and care. While exchanging mails or chatting through the IRC
we share our feelings, happiness and pain. Thus these unknown people
become a part of our life.
becomes stronger when we meet each other and communicate in the real
world. While communicating some lucky guys find their life partners
and the rest is a FUTURE. I have addressed it as "future"
because, I still don't know whether they lead a successful and happy
married life or not. I hope they do or will do. (Cross your fingers).
However the question
remains- should we try this process? As it's a gift of modern technology
I think (I'm not suggesting you do this, it's just my point of view),
at least we can try it. But if you start making friends with the intention
of searching a life partner, you would never find a perfect one. Cause
with this in mind that you have to choose one as your partner you
would never find a real friend who will understand you and your feelings.
search for friends through net, not life partner. There would come
a time when you will feel some special feelings for someone among
many of your cyber friends and if you are certain that it's LOVE then
go ahead. But think hundred times before getting involved in any sensitive
relation. You shouldn't believe everything blindly that your cyber
friends say. Because in this world everyone tries to be more sensible,
smart and impressive than they really are. And remember, there are
also cheats, bad guys waiting here to trap you. So be very careful
before getting involved with cyber friends in the real world.
one day you wake up, sleepy-eyed, walk like a zombie to your bathroom.
You're brushing your teeth, still not fully awake when suddenly you
catch your reflection on the mirror. A face, your face, stares back
at you. Your skin has a thousand creases, the forehead is lined with
age, the face is sagging, your hair is gray and your vision isn't
too clear either.
Now imagine living your life like
a useless piece of furniture, occupying space in a house, but never
being cared for or looked after. You're clothed and fed but the acts
bear resemblance to a busy housekeeper dusting an oak cupboard. You
feel just that much significant and your son is more enthusiastic
about giving his brand new Jaguar a car wash that he is interested
in asking you how you are feeling.
The thought of this scenario ever
being a part of my life scares me and it is only my imagination. For
millions of people in this world, the picture just described is part
of a tragic reality and they have to live in silence everyday, accepting
the cruelty that Life inflicts upon them.
I am talking about out grandparents,
the people whose presence in our lives are hardly ever appreciated
to the extent that it deserves to be.
Many of us have not been blessed with
the opportunity of spending time with our grandparents. My paternal
grandfather (Dada) had passed away long before I was born and I regret
not being given the chance to get to know him. From the pictures that
I have seen of him, he was a very handsome man and from what I have
heard from my Dadu (my paternal grandmother), he was very fond of
a song which happens to be one of my favourite Bengali songs. He also
wrote two books and I sometimes wonder what his reaction would be
to the fact that his youngest granddaughter writes as well and dreams
of being an accomplished writer one day. I am sure he would have been
proud of my published articles, may be prouder than the other members
of my family. I have always felt that we would have gotten along very
well if we knew each other.
Then there was my maternal grandfather,
my Nana, who passed away when I was only eight years old. He was one
of the best looking men I have seen in person, looking regal with
his fair complexion and impressive height. He would take my mother
and her siblings to the rooftop when they were young and show them
the stars in the sky, enlightening them upon their names. Genes are
truly miraculous things for how surprising it is that I should have
a curiosity for the stars and the other celestial bodies in space.
How I wish I could share the marvelous experience of learning the
names of the stars from my Nana. At that early an age, I did not have
the maturity to understand how precious he was to me, nor could I
fathom that grandparents do not last forever. Besides, he was suffering
from severe diabetes and was very ill. Yet, eight years after he had
passed away, I still have memories of a man whose age could not fade
his innate regality and elegance.
paternal grandmother (Dadu) is probably the only one with whom I have
been able to spend time with. To describe my relationship with her
would require an entire book to be written. She is so eccentric, so
vibrant and energetic even at the venerable age of seventy. I can
be most frank with her, tease her, joke with her, speak with her in
my pathetic Hindi, and even fight with her. In fact, I resemble her
in character and appearance so much that everyone in the family says
I am exactly like her.
My maternal grandmother
(Nanu) on the other hand is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I
rarely get to see her, much to my own fault and laziness but when
I do meet her, she cannot recognize my mother or me. How painful that
must be for her or her children, I can imagine but will probably never
fully understand. I admire her for the way she has brought up my mother
and her six siblings_ for it must have been a very difficult job to
rear that many children but yet, she had done it amazingly well.
When we were kids,
our grandparents used to tell us stories, which we found fascinating.
They are there to make us our favourite "achaars" (pickles),
give us their blessings when we ask them to pray for us during our
exams. They'd give us new crisp notes when we "salaam" them
on Eid days. They'd tell us not to wear jeans that are too tight or
want the remote control just when Roswell is about to start. They'd
proudly introduce us to their acquaintances as their grandchildren
in such a way that makes us feel like we are stars by simply being
ourselves. Each of us may share different kinds of relationships with
our grandparents but one truth that can be more or less generalized
about our generation is that, we really do not give them the love,
respect and appreciation that they deserve.
One sad thing
that is often seen in families is that when our parents face problems
with our grandparents (resulting is bitter quarrels and temporary,
mutual or one-sided dislike), we ourselves become distant from them,
boycotting them from our lives. This, though may be natural (since
all of us stick to our parents' side in situations like those) is
in fact something very wrong that we do. What happens between our
parents and our grandparents is their personal matter and it shouldn't
influence the way we treat them (even if pretending that everything
is all right may make one feel awkward in the beginning). I believe
family feuds do not change the way our grandparents look at us or
alter the unconditional love that they feel for us in any way. Except
in the most tragic cases, the issues are usually resolved between
our parents and our grandparents before it's too late. Meanwhile,
the hurt that we may deliberately or inadvertently cause them is simply
unnecessary, irreverent and most painful.
There is a lot
that we have to learn from them. I mean, how many of us have been
able to go through sixteen years of our lives, without at least once,
wanting to give everything up and surrender? Whereas, our grandparents
have lived through wars, revolutions, personal turmoil, natural disasters,
been crippled by the cruel forces that govern the world and yet survived.
They are living evidence of Life as an eternal energy that is never
destroyed but which is simply transferred from one being to another
and that must be conserved. They are here to tell their tales, but
we never do ask them or are patient enough to listen to what they
have to say. They may have lived during different times, times to
which we may not be able to relate entirely, but their acquired wisdom
through years of experience is to be treasured, for there is so much
that we can learn from them.
It is essential
to remember that we are nothing if we are not aware of where we come
from, what there is behind us. If we are not aware of our roots and
the strength of our roots, we can be easily uprooted. If we do not
know about our history, our present and the future can be easily wiped
away. And it is also important to remember that history repeats itself,
that one day, the youth that we are basking in today, will filter
away from this body and in a shriveled, hunched cage will be trapped
a soul that would yearn to be young again. If we do not love our grandparents,
our children will not love our parents and our grandchildren will
never love us for it is a universal truth that we get what we give.
For those of us
who are fortunate enough to still have them here with us in this world,
we can try appreciate them a little more, remembering that one day
we will lose them and won't be able to have them back. One day, we
too, shall be in their shoes; we might be required to be as brave
as they are in battling life-threatening diseases and the agony of
solitude. If we, their grandchildren, do not let them know how much
we love them, they may spend their remaining days feeling unloved
and unwanted. Keeping all that in mind, we can pay them a visit today
or tomorrow or simply give them a call right now. We really have no
idea how happy we can make them feel by such a simple act of kindness.